sorrow

please, if you don't want to hear me complain, just skip this post.

i'm not one to complain all that much, but i hear that for the sake of my emotional stability i have to express my pains. which means, that for the next few sentences i'll be letting out my sorrows.

i'm not angry, no not in the least. on may 29th, however, something hit me like a train. this little piece of imformation, those few lines, those characters assembled to resemble a meaning, hit me harder than anything i've ever had to deal with. luckily, i went to utah straightaway after, and could escape my worst fears and most haunting nightmare. the peace was short lived, as i had to return to school the following wednesday. life was hard, i forced myself to avoid the problem instead of confronting it. i thought that i could outrun it. for a while, this worked. this whole summer has been great, no need to even think of the tragedy that struck so soon before. but, as little annoyances always do, i was reminded recently. it feels like that train that hit me so long ago is still going over my useless body, and with all my efforts i can not elude the pain. maybe it will pass, maybe what happened was for the better, maybe i'm just as crazy as they say i am. all i can do now is hope this will pass over me, that i can overcome this grief and move on. all i can do is hope that i can maintain my friendships, see through the past, be as mature and i pose myself to be.

well thanks for listening. if you understood the event, sorry. i did not try very hard to mask it, and i sure wish this doesn't offend anyone.

and sorry about the complaints, but its for my own mental stability.